Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What should you do if a police officer comes to your house and asks for someone who doesn't live there anymore?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What song are you listening to right now? What does it mean to you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Are there any queer Space Marine Legion in Warhammer 30k or 40k?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why do some straight men enjoy wearing women's lingerie?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

Is there a specific time frame for therapists to tell their clients they are wrong?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why is pornography still alive and not illegal? Why doesn’t the government do about tricking women into them?

I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How can I get a girlfriend? I am 26.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

States With the Most Generous Tippers - Newser

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What are the reasons for your political affiliation with the Democratic party? What are some aspects of the party that you support and some that you do not?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a black man and a white woman have a child, does the child become white? If a white man and a black woman have a child, does the child become black?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What does it mean if I had a dream about my mom who passed 12 years ago waking up from her coma and asking for my dad? I have never had a dreams about her since she has been gone.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read